Musings from Today

1. I apologize if I have posted about this recipe already, I can't remember, but I must say that Giada's Turkey Meatloaf with Feta and Sun-Dried Tomatoes is delicious and super easy! It takes some time (45 minutes in the oven) but the active prep is simple.

Photo from the first time I made this, tonight was the second time.

2. I got to talk to hubby on the phone and online chat today. That always makes for a good day. Just wish we were back together already, that is my only complaint! 

3. Had coffee with a good friend - used to see her all the time at school but now we actually have to make an effort! It was lovely. 

4. Had a super productive evening - picked up more work clothes at the outlets (at a very good value I must say), grocery shopping, prepped the meatloaf, mowed the lawn while it was in the oven, then settled in to eat while watching TV. I didn't get everything done I wanted to get done this weekend, but I made good headway right at the end of it! 

5. I picked and ate the first tomato out of my garden today! Exciting indeed. I made a little tomato salad (salt, pepper, drizzle of olive oil) and enjoyed it very much! I love that fresh tomato taste, still warm from the sun.

Tomato right before I sliced and ate it!

I hope everyone had a good weekend! I'm continuing to enjoy work, socialize with friends when I can, and I'm constantly counting down the days!

Neglect

There's no denying, I've been neglecting my blog lately! I'm not really sure I can put my finger on why. Sometimes the mood strikes more than others, and I definitely go through phases.

I certainly need to update to share the wonderful time that was last weekend - two of my closest college girlfriends visited and we had a great time together. I was (and am) so grateful that they would make the commitment to come visit me, both with their time and finances. I had a blast sharing our home, and this city where we live now. The visit also allowed me to discover some new things here, and I ended up thinking "I have to come back here with hubby" on multiple occasions. There was a great mix of going out in the city and spending some time here at home (watching the Oscars and the Bachelor!). As someone who really enjoys planning, especially exciting things like these visits, I was relieved and happy that we had so much fun! I definitely felt a sense of responsibility to show my friends the essence of where I live, even if it was a short visit. I was glad both girls stayed until Tuesday, which made the weekend feel not quite as shockingly short - though it did pass by in a flash!

I'm a lucky girl to have maintained some of my best college friendships to this degree. I hope to be able to see these friends (and others) in the near future, but at the very very least, KT's wedding is coming up next June, and I cannot wait!

Here are my lovely friends at two of our delicious meals:

It was such a lovely weekend! It was a bummer to go back to regular life, but what are you going to do? In general, things have been going well in the rest of my life. I have a feeling school is going to pick up soon, so I'm attempting to steel myself for that, but I really can't complain about much of anything. The only thing constantly bringing me down somewhat is waiting for hubby's return! We do talk relatively often by e-mail, but it's obviously just not the same. I'm ready to live life together again when he comes back. More than ready, actually. I am hoping that it works out for us to travel at least a little bit before I start school in the fall - there are a lot of places we'd like to see together, and a vacation is long overdue!

I'm also constantly adjusting and exploring in my ongoing cooking adventures. My current goals are to eat nutritiously and not excessively, to save money using sales and coupons, and to use up regular groceries and CSA produce so as to minimize waste. It's interesting the way those three goals interact with each other, but I definitely enjoy the effort. Hopefully the mood will strike me soon to share some specific recipes here again.

In the near future, I have one week of school before spring break! A week off is definitely welcome at this point in the semester. I'm also lucky enough to be going out to the West Coast the first weekend of my break, to celebrate my grandparents' 50th anniversary, and my parents will be out there too. This occasion is just another reminder that I am lucky enough to have a family filled with wonderful examples of marriage (both hubby and I are, in fact). I know that it's not something to take for granted, and that it probably has helped me develop a solid foundation to make my own marriage successful.

Alright, enough meandering. Off to eat my breakfast - fig bran muffins, a repeat from last weekend. It's a great, guilt-free recipe from Ellie Krieger, and I'll put the link here in case anyone wants to try it out!

Life Lately

It's February! As I said on Fbook a few days back - I try not to wish time away, but I am really really looking forward to that husband of mine being home again. Therefore, I wasn't super sad to see the calendar page flip. (Which reminds me, I need to change the calendar in my office... okay done.)

Anyway, what has been going on lately? I'll share a list to try to succinctly sum it up:

- I obviously have reading and homework, but it's actually manageable and I'm appreciating the beginning part of the semester, when I don't have a constant anxiety over whether I should be outlining, and when doing social things on the weekends doesn't make me wonder if I should be working.

- I'm taking Torts, Criminal Law, and Constitutional Law. I like them all in their own ways. I think that  Criminal Law will give me an excuse to watch Law & Order and call it "studying."

- My major preoccupation these past few weeks has been securing summer employment (for which I will not get paid). A lot of my friends have things already, and I really am happy for them. It will be easier to be TOTALLY happy for them when I know what I am doing too. :-) For various reasons though, I am not totally freaking out. I'm in touch with some organizations and I think within the next 4-6 weeks I'll have it figured out.

- I plan to stay in this general vicinity for the summer, because that's the span of time when hubby is coming home. (Can you tell I'm looking forward to that?)

- I have been doing a decent job at getting out, enjoying my surroundings, and socializing on the weekends. Last weekend, I went with a group of classmates on a field trip out of town to get some delicious local BBQ. Coming from the northeast, it's a whole new world.

- My ratio of cooking meals to eating them has been about 1:4. I plan out what to cook when, and then also have leftovers for lunches and some other dinners. It's possible I have a spreadsheet, but I will neither confirm nor deny.

- I'm enjoying the flexibility the slow cooker gives me, and I'll share some of my favorite recipes (so far) sometime soon.

- Two of my closest college girlfriends are visiting in only three weeks and I'm really really excited!

That's what's been going on, in a nutshell. Things are pretty good right now, but part of my brain is preoccupied thinking about hubby's return, and plans we can make for the months right after. Ah well, it's pretty normal I think!

Nothing is Guaranteed

Just wanted to follow up and share that I found out my friend Laura passed away yesterday morning (see this post). In some ways, I have been grieving on and off, but in others, I'm not sure the reality is fully sinking in. Her father was generous enough to share online that she passed peacefully, and we all know from last week that these were her wishes, but the sorrow stays with me nonetheless. Laura's father also posted in a journal entry that one thing everyone can do to honor Laura is donate blood - particularly since blood transfusions kept her alive for most of the last year of her life. (Full disclosure: needle issues have kept me from donating in the past, but I hope to work through that to start donating in the future.)

If you are one of my readers who was also friends with Laura, my thoughts are with you the same way they are with her husband and family. I wish I could be with you all right now and give each one of you a big hug.

Tribute

A quick note to start - this post is my way of dealing with some rough stuff. A good friend of mine is being moved to hospice care after an 11-month battle with hypoplastic myelodysplastic syndrome, which is a bone marrow disease. In some ways I feel selfish that this post will focus on my experience, my grief, my story, when to me this is really about her, her husband, her family, and her closer friends. That being said, I am here on my blog right now and I'm writing this to share and process my own story of friendship with this amazing woman. Just wanted to start with that, and then give myself permission to focus on Laura's effect on me - as one example of the many people she's touched in her life.

I first knew who Laura was from her blog, alis volat propriis. We had some mutual online friends in the wide military spouse community, so I first got to know her that way. Last summer I found out she and her husband would be moving to my location (which I've recently called Military Home #1). I was interested in widening my circle and thought she'd be a good person to know, so I messaged her to ask if we could meet up. She proposed meeting at the gym to do an elliptical workout while chatting, and I agreed.

During that first meeting in August, it became clear to me that this was a wonderful person who immediately put me at ease. I was a newly married military wife, and my husband had only been graduated from school a short time, while hers had been in the regular military a bit longer, and they'd been married about 2 years at that point. I guess it isn't that much longer to be married, but at 3 months for me, she seemed worlds wiser and more experienced than I was, and in some ways that was very true. From our very first meeting, Laura embraced me fully and let me right into her life - and introduced me to some other women who had more experience with the military than I. She invited me to regular lunches and made me feel like part of their group, despite the fact that most of them had already dealt with deployments and other things that I hadn't faced yet.

As we got to know each other better, I realized that Laura was the type of person, and military wife, that I wanted to be as I moved into the newest phase of my own life. She was realistic and didn't sugarcoat, but she always found the best in things. When her husband was overseas, she moved to DC and worked, giving herself a full and vibrant life - making the most of all the time she had. She was warm, caring, funny, and giving. I was so grateful that she was one of my new friends, and I looked forward to being able to spend time with her until the spring.

In November, after a group of us had had one of those lunches I talked about, some symptoms she'd been experiencing finally caused her to go to the hospital. After her blood tests showed incredibly low counts, she was transferred to a different local hospital, and then a more specialized one in another state (near her home), and was diagnosed with her disease. At that time, in addition to feeling sad about her diagnosis, I was disappointed that she wouldn't be moving back to MH #1 anytime soon. As I said, I'd looked forward to having her around longer, particularly as hubby was about to leave for training (the same type of training her husband had been through a couple years earlier).

She kept us posted as the months went on, through her joys and disappointments while waiting for a match for a bone marrow transplant. Her transplant happened in July, and in the past few months she developed various complications - she and her parents kept those who knew her updated through an online journal.

Based on the updates, it became clear to me this past week (Wednesday morning, actually), that this battle was not going to have a happy ending. It really hit me hard, in part because, to be honest, I hadn't really let myself face that possibility. I know that I was living in a world of denial, but while I knew it was serious, I quite simply chose to believe all this time that she would get through these tough times and get better.

As of this morning, I've read an update that says that Laura was able to express her wishes to her husband and parents. She no longer wants life sustaining medication, just pain medication.

There is nothing I can say to really put this in perspective. The only perspective I have is to be glad I was lucky enough to meet Laura and have her as a friend. She will continue to influence how I live my life, for the rest of my life. I of course grapple with why this had to happen to her, and with the general unfairness of it all, but I know there are no good answers to those types of questions. For my part, I suppose I will just have to continue processing what I feel. I have been lucky to have friends near and far offer their support the past few days, and of course I'm grateful.

If you're reading this, I'm just sending out a general hope for prayers and thoughts for Laura, her husband, the rest of her family, and her network of friends.

Here she is after the National Half Marathon in March 2010 - before I even met her. She ran the Army Ten-Miler about a year ago, roughly a month before she entered the hospital (and definitely when she'd been feeling under the weather already). She really is amazing.

 Another, just to share the stunning smile that will always be my image of her. (I cropped her hubby out of this just to respect his privacy, as I don't know if I'd have his permission to put his image here - but as you can see, she's standing next to him in this photo, which I got on her Fbook page.)

Laura, I am blessed to have met you last year and to have been able to spend the time with you that I did. I hope you know how much you mean to me. One of the main things I am taking away from my emotions this week is yet another, painful reminder that we should always tell the people we love how much they mean to us. 

And that's really all I can offer by way of conclusion - if you've read to this point, thanks for "listening" as I use my blog for emotional therapy today.

Community

Well, I'm back on the grid. Last week I drove off to my next home to find appropriate living quarters, visit law school for the first time, and have a wonderful time with a friend who lives there. In between seeing houses and waiting for my lease application to get approved, I was fortunate to have a wonderful time being social with my friend, her husband, and a couple of other military friends of theirs (some stationed at the same place, one who was also visiting from out of town).

I found myself reflecting multiple times on how wonderful these military connections are - both in general and the ones resulting from the school that my husband, my friend's husband, and a lot of other people we know attended. Until this past week, I'd spent little in person time with my friend (we've mostly bonded online, but met a few times over the past years), even less with her husband, and had never met their friends before. Yet, from the moment I came into contact with them all, the atmosphere was warm, inviting, and friendly. We chilled out, played games (okay, mostly one very odd but fun card game), and did things in the local area. It was a temporary and very recently assembled little group, but it felt so comfortable. After living by myself the past 7 months, I've noticed that I especially appreciate the chance to be social face-to-face, as opposed to on the computer. It does a person good. (Not that I've been a total loner... I've just spent a good portion of time alone here at the apartment.)

Anyway, I wish I could say this more eloquently, but I find myself feeling so grateful for the sense of community we have in this military lifestyle. This past week I was embraced simply due to the military connection, with very few questions asked, in a place I'd never visited before. I had a place to stay for free, and people to hang out with when I wasn't house-hunting. I thought a few times about how boring it would have been had I not had this community this week. The answer, in case you're wondering, is pretty darn boring!

We may never get a chance to let our roots grow very deep in this lifestyle, but the flipside of that is that social circles are never hardened to the point of exclusivity.They are constantly in motion, shifting shape through deployments, changes in station, and other factors. Everyone has been the new person at some point, and we all know another connection can't hurt. Say what you will about the moving lifestyle, but I sure do love having connections in so many locations, and knowing that quite often, I'll have an air mattress open to me wherever I may need to go, and people to hang out with to boot. In that way, I am blessed.

I'm Back!

Oh blog, how I have missed you! I have a lot to share (including February books and a new workout adventure I'm thinking about), but I thought I'd start by sharing some photos from my trip to Chicago! The original impetus was to visit KT (she goes to med school there), since I hadn't seen her since my wedding and because I'd never been to Chicago and wanted to visit. Then we found out that AN had the same break from school, and Kristen decided to come along, and a reunion of some of my best college girlfriends was born! I just got back a couple hours ago, and honestly I don't feel like writing out much more narrative, so I'm going to mostly use photos to share the rest of the story. Suffice it to say it was wonderful to see a new city and spend time with some of my best girlfriends!

 You had to know there were going to be food pictures... I started my trip off with some deep dish!

 And the next night, we went out for Greek food and I got yummy shrimp with feta and a tomato sauce

 Three of us near the Bean

 Swapped out photographers :-)

 The Bean itself 

 At our cute little (and DELICIOUS) French dinner

 Brunch - crepes filled with eggs, cheese, avocado, mushrooms, plus breakfast potatoes. YUM!

 KT outside the adorable bakery where we purchased some amazing cupcakes!

 Hot chocolate stop

 My hot chocolate!

 The "natives"

 The tourists. Please excuse my footwear. It was either sneakers or lots of whining and feet hurting.

 Looking back on the city from Navy Pier

On the last night (which was last night actually) we went to a lounge on the top of the Hancock Tower and enjoyed the view - it was the perfect way to end the trip!

That's at least some of the highlights in pictures! I was so happy to finally visit Chicago (aside from changing planes...) and seeing my friends made it that much sweeter. I'm definitely a lucky girl.

Good Times with the Girls

This weekend is taken up with some fun social outings! Last night a few of us did dinner and a movie (No Strings Attached, in case you are wondering). I hadn't been to a movie in a little while so that was fun! Today, H and I are going to the big city to go look at a big market with exotic food, a mall to take advantage of stores we don't have here (ummm can you say J. Crew and Anthro? So excited!), and then out to get Thai food for dinner. I think it should be a lovely day, though possibly damaging to my credit card. It's all good though - I don't go on shopping sprees very often at all. Spring is coming! My jeans are wearing out! I want a new purse! Oh yes, we'll see how this goes down. :-)

Not much else to share - I'm sure I'll post on what I acquire later on. For now I should probably get myself moving! Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend so far.

Volunteering!

Well, now that I've completed my third day of volunteering (I started last week), I feel qualified to blog about it. :-)

As it says over in my little bio, I'm a future law student. In the absence of paying jobs materializing for me (despite my repeated and plentiful efforts), and due to the same suggestion from numerous sources, I got in touch with our legal assistance office here to ask about volunteering. After a few weeks where they had my paperwork and resume and we exchanged some phone calls, I started last week. Basically I do two different types of days - one at a site processing people going overseas, and the other at the main office, helping people who come to the front office, getting them to their appointments with attorneys or helping them with routine matters, or if they have a more complicated issue, trying my best to hand them off to someone more qualified! So far I really like it, I think I am certainly helping more than getting in the way the more I learn, and I think I am meshing with the people I work with better each time I go in - and the more they get used to me.

I'm definitely pleased with this development in my weekly routine. It feels good to do something quasi-professional, even though I am obviously not getting paid. It also doesn't escape me that sometime volunteering leads to paid work, though I am not holding my breath for that. Even if I only work for them for free, it benefits me with the experience on my resume and the new contacts in the field. Meanwhile, I am still looking for something paid, but at this point my preferred option is something part-time so that I can continue to volunteer. Even though this might not be the work solution I originally envisioned, I'm proud of myself for taking some initiative and doing something that is definitely good for me and my professional development!

The one downside to my volunteering time is that it makes me less flexible for social time during the week, including my beloved spin class on Tuesdays - I may start working on a routine basis on Tuesdays, because the nature of the work they do that day makes it so I'm extra useful and I have more to do. Luckily I've managed to form friendships where I am no longer anxious if I have to turn down an invite because I'm busy - I know that people understand I've got this thing I'm doing, and I'll do my best to make it another time I am free. On a sidenote, is it just me or is there a period when you are meeting people when you really really hate to turn down invitations, because you always think you are missing a bonding opportunity? Luckily, during what I perceived to be that period of time with a lot of people I've met, my time was more flexible and it was easier.

And in related news, I am definitely feeling more comfort socially all the time. To have an honest moment, starting to meet people at an increased rate (particularly in August) was great, but I had some moments of social anxiety for sure. Just that, gah so many new people, will I really hit it off with anyone, do they really even like me kind of stuff. I'm settling into a bunch of new relationships and I'm really feeling more at ease now! I knew it would be okay, as I remembered new student orientation at college, compared with the amazing friendships I developed through my senior year, but still, it can be nervewracking for me! Luckily, military wives are super easy to make friends with, because everyone is moving around and used to meeting people and making fast friends!

Tonight is devoted to Glee and trying out that other dessert I mentioned in my cupcake post. Life is good for sure!